Cow Mooooder Mysery
by: RickLondon |
Total views: 5 |
Word Count: 432 |
View PDF | Print View
Share This Article
My name is Truman Cowpoke and I write mooooder mysteries. I write about the life of cows, violence, and yes, even bovine death. Words cannot express the horror I feel, as a mystery writer of true cow crime while researching the death and destruction that can occur in "greener pastures". Of course there are no cowincidences and anyone who says there are may just be full of bull, surely udderly ridiculous.
If I wished, I could create language describing the moohem and destruction of this beast, and do no justice. Even the late great author of "Being There" and "Painted Bird", Jersey Cowzinsky or pop diva Bovinna, who sang and performed Mooterial Girl so beautifully, could feel my emotions regarding violence in the bovine cowmunnity. I don't even think The Boss, Bruce Holstein could (even though he was "BORN IN THE USDA") But cows are just cows, nothing more, except for their dark side. Not a lot of justice in such cowmmunities; unlike, say Bambi and other artistic animals. The Deer Artist, oh starry starry night, Venison Van Doe, may have stroked it with a brush, but never ever the cow, oh so isolated, with no talents rather than anything you can see that is pasteurized.
Is this violence of cows a part of organized crime? We have heard rumors of the legendary Al Cowpone and his La Cudstra Nostra, but not much is known about them. More recent legends of course include the more gentle cow, Demi Moooer, Hugh Heffer, and the like. But the cow is poetic. How can we ever forget Bulliam Shakespeare's "Moo be, or not moo be?" And you tell me cows are not of the utmost importance? Got milk?
I live life one day at a time. I jog a bit, even prepare myself for the Bullston Mooathon, though chances are skim I'll make it to the finish line. Just cuds I love cows doesn't make me odd. Many a cow-lover has gone on to become a legend in his own mind. Take Alfalfa for instance. We all know his famooos saying, "I dub cows!" And truly, who could we take more seriously than Alfalfa (even though Alfalfa is eaten daily by cows). Maybe he has some Moochistic cowacteristics, who knows, but he said it.
So there. If you don't want to hear about cows, how to solve the social problems that are so prevalent in their lives, then moooooove along little doggie. I don't want my epitath to read "He Cowld Have Done Better". I believe I've milked this story for all it's worth.
Share This Article
Rating: Not yet rated Next Article - Rick London On Cartooning and Previous Article - How Bad Do We Need To Laugh
About the Author
Rick London, founded Londons Times Cartoons in a small Ms. abandoned warehouse in 1997. It has risen through the ranks to become the most visited offbeat cartoon site on the Internet. It has spawned 9 e-stores which contain award-winning funny cow cartoon gifts and collectibles. Critics call it a must-visit for funny cartoon funny cow gifts and collectibles and a "cow item collector's dream".
Comments
No comments posted.Add Comment
Popular Articles about: Humor
1: Company Markets Coffee-Flavored Condoms in Ethiopia2: Voices in my Head: Hush Little Baby...Upon Further Review
3: Cialis
4: What's Your Net Mirth? Add Humor To Your Work, Meetings and Relationships
5: How The Arts Brought People Together After 9/11
6: Top Ten Reasons My Parents Didn't Want Me To Be A Cartoonist
7: It's All Gary Larson's (the Far Side) Fault
8: Want to Make Your Life Easier? Learn to Laugh More!
9: T-shirts: America's Most Popular Gift
10: Alexa Ratings: Who Do They Choose For Top Indie Cartoonist?
11: Cow Soup For The Soul
12: Why Aadvarks Are Important....to Cartoonists
13: Just for Fun: Other Creative Uses for Condoms
14: Becoming A Cartoonist....instead Of A Realtor
15: Naughty Ecards: Flirting Fun
16: Viagra
17: Comedy and Comedians
18: Detroit Nightlife
19: How Should I Design a Room?
20: Flash Gordon helps the universe
21: Nobel Prize Winners Who Crack Us Up
22: How Bad Do We Need To Laugh
23: the zen of laughing aloud
24: Top Six Funniest Cartoons On The Internet
25: Becoming A Celebrity Is Easier Than You Think
26: The San Jose Nightlife, California Style After Hours
27: Is Decking And Entertaining your Passion?
28: Rick London On Cartooning
29: AS SEEN ON TV – How the telly changed our homes
30: the zen of cartoon humor