Do “Friends With Benefits” Relationships Really Work?
by: Ken Brower |
Total views: 49 |
Word Count: 681 |
View PDF | Print View
Share This Article
My best friend (we’ll call her Julia) and I have been prudes since we met in 6th grade. While close friends were having sex and getting pregnant by 8th grade, we would still bust a gut laughing if we ever heard the word “penis.” By the time high school ended and we were heading out to college together, neither one of us had even come close to having sex. Now, things are a little different. I am the married one with a child and she is recently divorced, exploring her sexual prowess and calling me with all the juicy, sordid details. Her most recent adventure is the start of a “friends with benefits” relationship. Call me old-fashioned, but if a guy friend were to approach me about initiating a “friends with benefits” relationship where we just had casual sex every now and then with no prospect of taking it further, I would probably just stare at him blankly, blink and say, “Come again?” Not my Julia. She actually initiated the conversation with a guy friend of hers who she had been finding increasingly attractive. Neither was ready to pursue a committed relationship (both had just come out of rough long-term relationships), so a no-ties sexual relationship suited them both perfectly.
Julia, by nature, was meticulous about what they discussed and actions she took before actually beginning the relationship. This is a rundown of what she feels is necessary to discuss and do before jumping into a relationship like this:
1) The first topic Julia mentioned was the use of condoms. She has always felt that having safe sex, whether in a monogamous relationship or not, is of utmost importance and she is a very vocal supporter of it. They discussed the importance of each having a condom stash at their respective homes so that they will never be caught up in the moment without one available. She is such a staunch supporter of safe sex that when she saw her “friend with benefits” take a condom out of his wallet, she quickly advised him that it is best to keep condoms in a cool place that is not subject to stress and variation in temperature. I realize that may sound made up, but that really is the way she talks. She said she is very religious about keeping her condom stash in her nightstand replenished.
2) The next topic they discussed was their sexual history. They discussed each partner they had and any history of STDs in their past, leaving no stone unturned.
3) After discussing the condom issue and sexual history with her partner, she went straight to her gynecologist to get a full workup, including a complete STD testing of infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea (which are not usually standard). She spoke with her gynecologist about this new relationship and was advised that latex condoms are still the best first line of defense to use because of the protection they afford from STDs.
4) Finally, she and her partner agreed on ground rules of the relationship that would work for both of them. This included never spending the night at each other’s home, never asking about any dates they may have gone on during the week, giving each other space and agreeing to end the relationship if one of the partners found somebody they were truly compatible with and wanted to pursue it further.
Now, for Julia and her partner, these negotiations worked and are still working to this day. If pursuing a “friend with benefits” relationship is something you are looking at, be sure to have an intimate conversation with that partner before even thinking about starting the sexual part of the relationship. If at all possible, like Julia, visit your doctor and get tested for HIV and other STDs so that you can go into the relationship with a clean bill of health; however, if you test negative for these STDs, make it a practice to always use a condom.
For more information visit: Do “Friends With Benefits” Relationships Really Work?
Share This Article
Rating: Not yet rated Next Article - Just Divorced, Should You Date? and Previous Article - 5 Reasons Lovers Leave
About the Author
CondomMan.com is a leading online retailer of condoms, selling name brand condoms like Durex, Trojan, Lifestyles and Beyond Seven condoms for the best prices online. Buy Condoms Online with Condom Man. Learn how to put on a condom, how to choose the right condom for you, and more.
Comments
No comments posted.Add Comment
Popular Articles about: Dating
1: Dating Tips: Top 10 Worst Traits in a Man2: "i Love You" - How To Say It In Romanian
3: Picking Up Basic Romanian Phrases The Easy Way
4: 5 Reasons Lovers Leave
5: How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After A Long Separation
6: Durex Performax Condoms
7: The Dating Agency
8: Pick-Up Lines: "The Opinion Opener
9: Online dating and relationship.
10: Websites For Dating Other Disabled People, Worth The Effort
11: Dating Tips: What NOT to wear when meeting men
12: More is Better: Choose your Safe Sex Methods in Abundance
13: Displaying Alpha Male Traits
14: Ukraine Online Dating Fraud And Scams - Facts You Must Know
15: Finding the Right Lady Through Russian Matchmaking
16: Dating Tips for Guys: How to Get Sexy Bedroom Eyes
17: Things A Disabled Woman Dating Online Should Know
18: How to Date
19: Dating: Want to date a colleague? The Office Christmas Party Dating Survival Guide
20: Follow the Five F’s to Dating Heaven
21: Dating Tips
22: Dating Tips: Moving on after a break up
23: Speed Dating: Post Event Etiquette
24: Tips to writing your online dating profile
25: United States Reports Record High Number of STDs
26: Dating, Scent and Attraction: How Single Women Can Use Fragrance to Attract Men on the First Date
27: Speed Dating Tips for Men: What to say (…and what not to say) to your dates!
28: Internet Dating: Advice from Someone Whose Been There and Seen it All!
29: Lost Love Online: Internet Dating Scams
30: Dating Advice - Winter Fashion Tips for Single Women