Getting Your Ex Back - Top 4 Things to Avoid
by: ErikJ.Michaels |
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There are a lot of things you may instinctively want to do when you partner breaks up with you, but it's important to your future that you choose your actions carefully. The reactions you may naturally do may not necessarily be the best ones, and in fact they usually aren't...so I'm going to help you out with a few tips.
There are a lot of mistakes people make just on instinct when they're faced with a situation like being dumped by somebody you're still in love with. Some of these mistakes are worse than others, but I'll lay out the main ones people make so that you can avoid driving deeper nails into the lid of the coffin of your relationship.
1) Jumping straight away to attack your ex with pleas of getting back together. Nearly all of us have blundered into this one at some point or another, but it's a pretty damaging mistake. Don't put too much pressure on your ex, it's just going to drive him/her further away and really hurt the likelihood of salvaging the relationship. Take a break from each other, it's surprising how healing it can be.
2) Thinking that all of the problems in your relationship were your ex's fault, and none of them were yours. I hate to be the one to put this to you, but it's usually the case that when a person decides to leave his/her partner, it's because of that partner. "It's not you, it's me" is a myth. There's always something you did wrong, and if you sit down and figure out what that was...you can FIX it and never make those mistakes again. Needless to say, this is a great asset if you plan to get your ex back.
3) Pretending to be a better person to get your ex back, then dropping it once he/she IS back. In order for the second time around to end up any better than the first, you kinda have to STAY changed. If you lie to your ex to get him/her to come back to you, he/she is going to realize it as soon as you start making the same old mistakes again, and dump you flat again. Honestly, you'd deserve it.
4) Rushing things when you're in the process of getting back together. Rebuilding a relationship is a tricky, tricky time. Going too fast before your ex is ready to really take the plunge again is just going to frighten him/her off. Your ex is GOING to worry about things not working out again, and if you're too aggressive about getting back together, intimidation will win out over hope. Take it slow, rebuild a friendship and let love bloom again.
These are the four biggest things that can hurt your chances of getting your ex back. Now, this isn't everything to be careful of...but these main pitfalls are the ones that have the most potential to ruin the likelihood of pulling through this struggle and coming out on top.
Remember at all times that there are a lot of feelings flying around in a breakup, and not just your own. Your ex is going to be hit with this big mass of emotions and confusion as well, so it's important not to push them too far or they'll become unreachable. Go easy on your ex, it's really the only way to get him/her back.
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Just break up? Get immediate relief from break up agony and a proven plan to get your ex back. Free information and help at http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up.html.
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