What Do If Your Mate Cheats On You: Don'T Cheat Yourself.
by: AlexArcher |
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It isn't easy to survive infidelity, and everyone has to find their own way to overcome and move on. You will confront frustration, pain and grief in your own way, and your experience will no doubt be different than my own. Still, perhaps there are a few things we can learn from one another about how to endure when your partner cheats and dumps you.
Indulge yourself from time to time. Taking care of yourself is an important part of the healing process. It can be difficult to do this in a healthy way, because buying things and losing yourself in vices can get in the way of true coping and healing. But if you choose your moments, and pick events and objects of special significance, it can be very helpful. Things like jewelry and art don't have to be expensive, and yet can carry great positive meaning.
Remember that you are a worthy human being, and do not need someone else to make you complete. As much as I loved my ex boyfriend, I also have to recognize that I lost some of my own identity and values when I was with him. I have regained these by finding my own goals and inspiration again.
Don't blame yourself. Remember that it was your partner who cheated. Even if there were problems in the relationship that you made together, he or she was the one who violated the basic terms of the relationship. Trust and truthfulness are most important above all, and you were not the one who threw these away.
Take joy in getting back your life. It may seem small and silly, but one of my best moments was realizing I could buy spaghetti sauce with mushrooms again. My ex boyfriend hated it and refused to buy it. He also preferred the smell of his day-old socks to my carefully blended essential oils. I have taken great joy in filling my home with the scents I had so long done without.
Please oh, please use your family and friends for support. Do not use your children or suffer alone. This is what friends are for. If you are isolated and do not have a social support network, join a woman's group, seek therapy (alternative, medical or other), or join an activity group.
A break up can also be the start of new interests. Look into finding a new hobby, or joining a club. For me, it was knitting that became my new beginning. I joined a knitting circle and not only had the pleasure of learning a new craft, but also the joy of the friendships that grew up around my new hobby.
Infidelity and the loss of a relationship is never easy, and there is no way to sidestep the grieving process. But it can be more than survival; it can be a journey to new beginnings and a new understanding of yourself. Find your path, stay with it, and appreciate what you gain. When you have found some peace, share your insight with others. Then you can truly say you are healed.
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About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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