Weddings And Children Can Be A Dangerous Combination
by: LarissaLevise |
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Most of the romantic and idyllic wedding scenes we have seen in movies involve cute and lovable children. However, being the cheery, innocent and fun creatures that they are, most often weddings, at least in the movies, involving children turn out to be hilarious and disastrously amusing.
Most kids are fun seekers, and will have no qualms about amusing themselves when things get dull. They can also have a hard time calming down and appreciating the importance of the day, the way adults do. When it comes right down to it, weddings can be very boring for children.
Usually, a bored kids means trouble for adults. Instead of sitting quietly, they'll giggle, fidget and make noise. They'll wander around, play with their food, squabble with other kids and even break things. These antics may seem funny to the children but can be nightmarish to adults. Especially the bride and groom.
Should Children be Invited?
Face the facts. Most brides and grooms are just not crazy about the idea of having kids at their weddings.
The very thought of having an unruly child mess up her gown or upset the bridesmaids sets panic in any bride-to-be. Unfortunately, many parents are not very sensitive to the concern. They don't appreciate or comprehend how a bride could not want their cute and loveable kids at the wedding.
Wedding etiquette guides and books suggest that you should make it clear on the invitation that children are not invited. They offer two ways of stating that the bride and groom would rather not have children in attendance. Either omit the kids' names from the invitation, or verbally spread the word that your wedding is an "adult only" occasion.
The second option can make you feel uncomfortable, but it is better than having to endure a child's tantrums or misbehavior during your special day.
Not everyone understands or appreciates wedding etiquette, so it's perfectly sensible and acceptable to be straightforward about your wishes. So, go ahead and inform guests beforehand that your wedding involves an 'adult ceremony and reception.'
Frankly telling guests with children that kids will not be welcome in the wedding can also be a practical option. For some, the gesture would not be very polite, but practicality would tell otherwise. Every bride and groom wants formality for their much-awaited moments. Recognize that.
If you'd like to be a little more subtle, you can simply state the number of seats that are reserved for your guests. When you say that "Mr. and Mrs. Mercer have two seats reserved" on the invitation, you're clearly stating that Mercer's five kids will not have a place at the wedding. There should be no question about it.
Guests who do not take your cues and insist on bringing their kids should be dealt with directly. Contact them before the wedding and explain why children are not included. Consider it a little lesson in wedding etiquette.
Wedding Etiquette for Parents
If you receive a wedding invitation that does not clearly state that kids are excluded, and if the couple does not call to emphasize the point, then you may assume that you can bring the children. As a courtesy, check with the couple to make sure it's OK to bring the kids along.
However, be informed and remember the simple wedding etiquette for parents. You would not want to spoil the wedding just because your child suddenly acted out or threw a tantrum.
Empathize with the position of the bride and the groom. Think of how you would feel if you were in their shoes, and children created scenes at your wedding. It would not be sweet and cute, right?
As a guest of the bride and groom, you should take the initiative and leave your children at home. They'll probably have more fun anyway, playing with their own toys or watching TV, or even doing their homework. Weddings can be dreadfully boring for kids, and their boredom can easily lead to a wedding-crashing scene.
For those who must bring children with them on weddings, wedding etiquette experts advise you to make the most of the opportunity. In other words, make the occasion an opportunity to teach the kids of simple and practical wedding etiquette. Turn the occasion into a lesson by informing the child that he or she should behave through out the occasion just like how to adult guests behave.
A wedding can be a great time for children to learn how to behave properly, and to pick up some important social skills and table manners.
Wedding etiquette also suggests that we should treat every occasion as a learning experience. Couples can learn to be good and patient hosts, and parents can learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility and sharing valuable social skills.
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About the Author
Contributor Larissa Levise loves writing for a variety of Internet magazines, on family friends and child family subjects.
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