How to overcome House Envy
by: Sarah Maple |
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What is it about home style magazines that make you feel so inadequate? Flicking through the glossy pages of immaculate hallways, shiny polished stainless steel kitchens and expensive antique bed frames I am overcome with house envy.
I immediately want to rush out and buy some cute cloth flag hangings and some Fired Earth paint and I muse on where I could purchase some reclaimed timber to build myself a kitchen table. I vow to myself to keep an eye out for some aesthetically pleasing driftwood to hang my tea mugs off or balance my welly boots against just so.
Fortunately as soon as I close the magazine then the time wasting, money burning thoughts leave me. Which is just as well because as much as I would like to live in a £950,000 country pad with white washed walls, big open fires and parthenocissus tricuspidata, (red climbing Ivy to you and me, but not to House and Garden.) I do not think that I’ll be able to afford any country cottages even if I save for 100 years.
This is a typical example of the thing I am talking about. Of course the house is not divided up into little squats inside…which is a pity because then it would probably be more likely that I could afford a piece of the pie.
The most likely scenario I feel is that a retired investment banker and his wife own the property. They have 2.4 children and are now in possession of a quaint little antiques shop in the local cookie cut out village. They will have made their fortunes in London and then decided that they wanted to bring up their designer clad darlings in the country with some pets hens and two dogs. When boredom and reality set in that the dark country was sometimes not as exciting as the bright lights of the city, the wife takes up arts and crafts as a hobby and spends her free time sewing shabby vintage dresses into French style patchwork quits.
I know I am stereotyping of course, that is the whole idea. The longer I leave my glossy home style magazine closed and the more I think about perfectly placed Wellington boots, the more I want to up sticks and move to a shack on a beach in Thailand. Bugger the classic cottages and converted barns of this world! As long as I have a hammock and a primitive shower, maybe a bit of decking and some floor cushions…a chest of stripped antique drawers for my bikini’s or one of those cute outdoor lantern thingy’s. Damn it!
After I had calmed down a slightly more inspirational idea hit me. Almost like an epiphany but not quite. Although I do not have a rich husband, 2.4 kids or £950,000 in my bank account I could still get my very own cottage experience. After sifting around Google for a couple of minutes I found a nifty little site called Classic Cottages that rent out what seem to be some gorgeous UK holiday cottages all over the West Country.
Brilliant, I am booking my time off as soon as I get back to work on Monday morning.
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About the Author
Sarah Maple is dreaming about UK holiday cottages and country cottages.
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